Thursday, May 11, 2006

Anthony's Laws!

Here are some truth of life rules I live by(well some of them)please feel free to peruse them.

Anthony's Law #1
Don't EVER tell the truth in a political campaign.
People want to be lied to. They don't care if you're the best, most qualified candidate in history, they're going to vote for a candidate who stars in a fuzzy video of him playing with the family dog while his pearlnecklaced wife and your 2.3 small children watch in awe while the voice-over dude explains that this guy has whatever-state-you-live-in family values. If you doubt me, ask President Walter Mondale about telling the truth. Now I know you say but Mondale was never president(exactly my point)honesty kicked him in the ass!!


Anthony's Law #2

Any time a person or entity makes a "mistake" that puts extra money (or power) in their pocket, expect them to make that "mistake" again and again and again. That's why refineries have fires now and then, because a fire allows them to scream "unexpected shortage" so they can gouge us on the price of gas.


Anthony's Law #3

Do not lay down in front of a bulldozer or a train or become a human shield.
The "president" of the United States will have you killed, rather than call off his bloody and profitable attack. Apparently, the Israeli government feels the same way about protestors in front of tanks.

That's one difference between our president and a Chinese tank commander.
In China, when that man stood in front of the tank in Tienneman Square, the tank stopped. In America and apparently, Israel, the "tank" keeps coming and crushes you.

Anthony's Law #4

Too much religion makes you stupid.
(Any questions about this one...just look around you.Just listen to their far
out views whether its exorcism,space aliens,Tom Cruise, Pat Robertson,George W.
I had a Mason tell me that the war was really about secret tablets in Saddams
home because it used to be called Babylon but he could not prove it to me
because its hidden in a secret Masonic Temple..Hmmm Any questions?)

Anthony's Law #5 -
Never get married(Americans only)
(I mean this one, just shack up and throw'em out when you are
done or get him/her to agree to some kind of term marriage)
Plus if you are on a date and they answer their cellphone, end the date right then
and there. This country has a 70% marriage failure rate and a 30% success rate if you are under the age of 45years old. Let me paint the sobering picture, would you ride in a car that had a 70% brake failure rate or fly a plane that had a 30% success rate of landing...well of course you would'nt, neither would I. But in spite of facts
we have a very high divorce rate and marriage rate...Damn evil marriage cartel.
(note some may take issue with Law#5 and will say thay I have commitment issues
nothing can be further from the truth, The commitment does not have anything to do with it(only truly desperate people pathetic people use that excuse).I am just against the way its practiced in America, it does not work. And if you are married and you disagree with this maxim.....see you in divorce court in a few years.)

Anthony's Law # 6
When having an affair,lie to your wife/husband never to the person on the side.
note: If you are a guy and having a torrid affair(just sex)remember if she has a nice body preferably a nice firm tush and legs,then that goes a long way to putting you in good standing with the LORD.




Anthony's Law #7

Never trust a politician.


Anthony's Law #8

No news outlet in America can be trusted

I have to admit it - they're all whores.
I can't name one network, one cable channel, one TV show, one newspaper or one magazine that can be trusted. They're crooked and they're lazy and they'll print any lie they choose to.The most honest news on all of TV is the "fake news" from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - everybody else is lying.

If you want intergity, you have to turn to the internet where news and opinion can be stated without a corporate sponsor looking over your shoulder while you write, telling you, "Put this in your news and take that out."



Anthony's Law #9

Power isn't something that's given to you.
Power is something you f-ing take!


Anthony's Law #10

Lying to yourself is an unforgiveable crime.
You can lie to others, but lying to yourself makes no sense at all.
Like Shakespeare said, "to thine own self be true"


Anthony's Law #11
When having a true relationship(not an affair)
Only date people that you actually have something in common with. Do not date someone just because they are good looking and hot, believe me some hot women(male perspective) are shallow and stupid. For example: if your into god then they have to be into god.If you are a crackhead then they have to be a crackhead. Let Whitney and Bobby and Charlie and Denise be your guide.


Anthony's Law #12
Learn Science:
Believe me science is under attack in this country so get familiar with it.


Anthony's Law #13

Jimmy Carter was right - Life is not Fair.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman is 100 times the actor Tom Cruise is, but Cruise has
already made 100 times more money than Phillip Seymour Hoffman ever will.

The Beatles never won a Grammy,
Scorsese never won an Best Director Oscar
and Clinton was paid $200K to give us peace and prosperity while Bush
got paid $400 to Judas us into a never-ending spiral of terrorism, war and recession.

If Life was fair, JFK and RFK and MLK would've made speeches at DemoCon 2004,
but no, ..they were f-ing murdered by the other team, and we belong to the "plays fair" team.


Anthony's Law #14

Evolution is FACT! The jury is not out. The fact is most people are just stuck on stupid.(see Law #16)

Anthony's Law # 15

Help those less fortunate. I really mean this one, also help your fellow man when
ever possible.This country has seem to forgotten these people.For example look at Angelina Jolie she has not only walked the walk(adoption) but she has also helped focus attention on issues that this government would soon forget like Darfur.

Anthony's Law #16

Alot of people do not like FACTS. You see this everywhere on Fox News and on the right and left. people are generally insecure and think that they are always right. Thats why the word "Cognitive Dissonance" was coined. Just look at the reaction I will get from Law # 5. Plus be flexible in your beliefs, Always reevaluate your beliefs in the way of good and credible evidence.

Anthony's Law #17

Always stand your ground when you feel you are in the right and never let anyone disrepect you. Ever! Get in touch with your Alpha nature. This country is a nation of wimps.

No comments: